About a Week

Decided the most memorable way to experience the holidays would be to make it home and surprise the majority of my family. The only people that knew where my parents. Made the rest of the women in the family cry at the sight of me. Even with the beard, I'm a more charming presence than I give myself credit for (doubtful). So Christmas was wonderful, my father and his brood were in Arizona visiting more family. It was nice not having to split up the day, and the trip to AZ would have been a little much after the journey I just concluded. Not the young whipper snapper I once was. Still a whipper snapper, just not the same. As I've previously states, I find myself in the business of making lasting memories. This surprise trip home was one of the most memorable experiences of my life thus far. I wouldn't trade it for anything (although I began plotting the next departure in my head before I got on my flight back here).

I deal with this duality within myself. I'm sure most people who keep in touch with themselves do. Even those that don't. On one hand, I know myself to be the sweet, kind, loving, honest, and overall positive character who would sacrifice the world for any loved one. On the other, I'm of the more selfish, ugly variety. Over the past four months, this side has been heavily suppressed. Only emerging when the drink flows a little too strong, even then it hasn't been so bad, just messy with a dash of innocence and unfamiliarity. Now I'm home. My old tendencies and habits are lurking in the back of my psyche waiting to reattach themselves to me. Some will succeed, others, hopefully not. Some may make brief appearances only to be cast back into the shadows. It is my job as the character I know myself to be (the first description) to handle them. Sometimes the bad makes me want to be better. Other times the bad makes me glad I'm not so good. I love who I am, I love who I can be, and I love doing things my way. Just need to be sure that "my way" is the way I want, and not the way that is easiest.