Smile Like You Mean It

This week has been odd in that I haven't been eager to do much, but at the same time feel as though I've become more rooted in this place over a few days than I have over the past however many. Not to say my plans are changing on a daily basis or that I haven't made the most of my time. More so, I made a point to get the "plan" thing out of my head and try to enjoy myself without worrying so much about anything. It proved successful. This week, I finally made it to La Bamba (as previously noted), made a couple of friends, attended a low-key dinner gathering with new people, and played basketball for the first time in 3 months without injury. Feel inclined to mention I happened to play marginally well for a big white boy with a diminishing concept of athletic grace (after years of sports that are unfriendly to the body and oftentimes involved picking myself up off the ground every 30 seconds). It must come naturally.

So then I got thinking, and realized I've spent most of the last 2 or 3 weeks wasting time worrying about time. I'm convinced the natural world is composed through logic, and our human nature is the one element fighting against it. I know I'm amongst the most fortunate souls on the planet. Never worried about where I will rest my head at night, or how I'm going to get my next meal. I actually have the opportunity to spend time in thought and doing activities as the one I'm involved with in this very moment. A comfort (and curse? does it matter?) known to few. In my case, a discomfort was born from this comfort. Seemingly a balance in the natural order, yet imbalances everywhere. Lonely in company, content in solitude. Contradiction after contradiction. Nothing and everything making sense all at once. In the end, it all makes me smile (or smirk).