Immersion Diversion

I was told by a close friend in recent weeks, that he could imagine me thriving creatively in an artist town, colony, whatever. I'm aware his observation was a passing one, yet it may very well be true, although I don't think I would ever subject myself to such an environment. I am far too big a fan of diversity. Nevertheless, his comment got me thinking.

Other than the physical, complete immersion is something I have never experienced. Right now I am physically immersed in a foreign land, but I have done little to immerse myself in its ways. Do I fear that if I do completely immerse myself I will lose part of myself in the process? I don't think so. Would it be an uncomfortable process? Most definitely. I've been told countless times, that in order to learn a new language, one must immerse themselves in a place where that language is spoken. That has always seemed a little vague. Does one need to focus on the language, the culture, or both. As far as I can tell, dialects vary from region to region along with culture, so in theory culture isn't as much a part of it. Yet in order to gain a complete grasp of any given dialect, the culture is as imperative as the language itself. I don't mean to focus on language, but I found it an obvious parallel between my friend's comment and the here and now.

As I said, I'm not afraid of making a commitment, as much as I am of buying into it. I wouldn't buy into the idea of a settlement devoted to creative pursuits at this point in my life, because being surrounded by a blend of humanities and practices is key for my sanity and appreciation for life. Seclusion would rob myself of the experiences I draw from and use in evolving my own person. So how would there be any opportunity to thrive? I already spend a great deal of time inside my own head. I need the complexities of everyday society to distract myself from myself.

Some Things

It's been a while. Little more than a week. Happy Thanksgiving. This past week hasn't included much. Probably why I haven't felt too inclined to write anything. Had a ridiculous Friday, which lead the way for a lazy weekend. Went to Uruguay, specifically Montevideo, on Monday to renew the tourist visa and check out the town. Many similarities to Buenos Aires, aesthetically. You could probably guess it is much smaller, but what I found to be interesting was the wear on many of the buildings near the water in the port. Spectacular real estate. I would imagine at one time it was a very beautiful place in the sense that it was happy, energetic, and a place most people desired to invest in. It is still very beautiful, albeit in a sad, decrepit way. Nice trading one city for another, even for 36 hours.

Anyway, some things have come to mind that I've intended to expand upon using this platform that I just haven't due to no excuses whatsoever. I've been lazy, unmotivated, and maybe a little too comfortable in avoiding myself. Whatever it may be, I'm tired of it. Back to rambling.

I have found, in my time as a human being, taking care of one's whole self is quite an undertaking. There are so many elements to the entire person that when too much attention is paid to one aspect, others go by the wayside. Nothing is worse than ignoring everything. I tried that for a year, well at least part of a year. About halfway through I came to some realization that I wasn't taking care of myself. I began to delve into the mental and emotional elements of my person, all the while still ignoring the bright, flashing sign that said YOU'RE AN IDIOT, PAY ATTENTION! After a few months of succumbing to those blinders I finally came to. Now I find myself in the present, six months removed from the flashing sign. Many permanent (hopefully) changes to my psyche have taken place, and my one desired destination is balance. I've begun to really take care of myself as far as physical health is concerned. The atrocious diet is difficult to avoid in my current culinary environment (eating cheap equals subpar nutritional value). I have been going through with my appropriate rehabilitation exercises for the ankles and shoulders, and they are beginning to make me feel like a man with new ankles and shoulders. It's incredible. I don't know why I never listened to my doctors or physical therapists to begin with. Like all things, listening takes time. I didn't even listen to myself for the year after school ended. Once I started listening to myself, I in turn began listening to others who seemed to know what they were talking about in respect to my well being. Who knows, maybe a consistent and high-level work ethic is next?

Song that periodically gets stuck in my head and I find myself singing out of the blue: Solidarity by Black Uhuru. I've never seen this video before. Indescribable. Magnificent maybe?

Season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm was great. Being unable to witness the Vikings dismantle the Seahawks due to a late arrival at the bar was not.

More things to come...

Din Din, Zoo, and Injury Update

Tonight's dinner: bife de chorizo (top sirloin), grilled onions, baguette, and tomato, avocado, and onion salad all for 13 pesos (between $3-$4 US). Was so excited to devour the feast I had created that I only had the wherewithal to document it halfway through consumption. Probably the best meal I've made for myself thus far.

On a side note, today's activities included a trip to the zoo, where I was delighted to see all sorts of little creatures wandering about the park. Never quite got the scoop on what the names of these various animals were. One such creature resembled a large, semi-aquatic rat, fully-equipped with a disgustingly long rodent tail. Another looked like a small deer with a rabbit's head. The rest of the free-roaming creature population was composed of various birds, unless some other intriguingly unfamiliar organisms lurked in the shadows. Some other zoo highlights included urination of the rhinos (fire-hose force and capacity), unsightly baby baboons and their bright red behinds, and some kind of hairless anteater-type creature that I assume contracted an illness which resulted in full body hair loss (grotesque).

Also, my foot seems to be fully healed after only five days. Way to go foot!

Injury Report

It's been quite the action-packed week. Monday night I attended La Bomba de Tiempo once again. Awesome performance. They had a guest appearance by a guy who first did a solo playing percussion all over his body, which was pretty amazing, and then was joined by the rest of the troupe while he played what seemed to be a PVC pipe xylophone of sorts with flip flops. Danced myself silly. Tuesday, I visited the Museo Xul Solar (2 different links). One of the most intricately designed buildings I've ever stepped foot in interiorly. Fascinating man who made fascinating works. Thursday evening, I was accompanied by Brian and Matt to the bar where we witnessed the 49ers take down the Bears and consumed some beverages. On the way home we decided to make a pit stop in Burger King. After placing my order I decided to use the restroom which was up a flight of stairs. On my ascent, I tripped on a stair and sprained my foot. Luckily it wasn't my ankle, yet had it been my ankle I'm sure it would've healed by now. It was swollen for a couple of days, but I think it should be back to full ability in a couple more. Friday night consisted of a housewarming party thrown by a couple of friends. Haven't been surrounded by that many US citizens since I left the country. Saturday was kept to a minimum, and we treated ourselves to the most delicious pizza I've had down here yet. Today I went to the other bar that plays NFL to watch the Vikings victory over the Lions. Just so happened they were offering a special brunch menu. Delighted to inform all of you that I devoured some delicious pancakes. A real treat.

Happy Days

My entire life has been dictated by weekly points of interest. While this matter of fact has not changed, it has been vaguely altered as of late.

From age 2 until 21 I was in school. Monday was the beginning, and Friday was the end. In the space between these bookmarks, were lessons learned and works accomplished. The weekend was, is, and always will be the elusive two-day marathon of fun, imagination, and unfulfilled aspirations that just doesn't manage to fit in with those other five days. Throughout the college experience, the weeks and weekends oftentimes became entangled in a lush labyrinth that could only be deciphered successfully through a use of extreme organization and power of the will. When my schooling was said to be done and finished, I was told it was time to enter the working world. Upon entering this "world", I was not surprised to see that weekly life reverted back to the way it was in early childhood (minus the every-other-weekend shuffle that so many children of divorce grow accustomed to), where the weekend meant absolute freedom.

Fast forward 6 months to my current and very temporary life of unemployment, travel, and leisure. There is a lyric that comes to mind when mulling this over, it goes: "Funny thing about weekends when you're unemployed. They don't mean quite so much." (Primus, "Spaghetti Western"). Not true. Well kind of. If I were still at home this would most likely be a spot on observation. However, I am not at home, and the weekends still hold a mysticism I can't quite put a finger on. They are the days in which I feel no guilt over wasted time, and there is always something to look forward to. At this point, I would imagine some of you are thinking to yourselves "well hey, isn't Ellery just living one giant weekend right now?" The answer to this question can be found in the inviting patch of gray which lies between the realms of maybe and probably. After some brief reflection upon my experience, I have concluded that it requires the effort and skill of any part-time job in keeping myself entertained meaningless day after meaningless day. A part-time job is no vacation, and being a somewhat disputed veteran of such occupations, from what I've understood, scheduling is integral to the whole.

As I was attempting to compare my weekly routine with those of my working friends, I realized that I have developed a unique weekly schedule of my own. Thanks to the power of the internet and modern satellite communication, the makeup of my weeks can now be directly associated with three specific television broadcasts back home. Curb Your Enthusiasm is certainly (in my worthless yet very knowledgeable opinion) the best show on television (maybe ever). It airs back home on Sunday nights, making it available for my viewing via the internet on Monday. In close second to Curb is South Park. Where Curb is consistently on top of its game, South Park tends to be hit and miss from week to week (granted this is all just over the past 8 or so weeks). It airs Wednesday evening, making it available for me on... you guessed it, Thursday! To wrap it all up, and if you didn't already assume, my Sundays are consumed by big sweaty oversized men in helmets and pads smashing into each other purely for my enjoyment, never ending glory, and multimillion dollar checks in their names. So the new, improved, and what is sure to be immensely short-lived weekly breakdown goes like this: Monday is still Monday, Thursday is the new Friday, and Sunday is, well, also still Sunday.

Not quite the work-for-the-weekend mentality down here. Just something I realized today that I found amusing.

Getting acquainted

Moved nearly a week ago. Our new homestead is working out quite well. Tuesday was the day of the switch. We were booted from our apartment at roughly 10 am, and weren't scheduled to get the keys to the new place until 2:30 pm. We lead our own mini exodus to the botanical garden with all of our luggage and other miscellaneous belongings, and camped out until about a half hour before our meeting. It was a very nice day, spent mostly on a bench with a book and all of the cats.

I had been reading Moby Dick, but shelved it temporarily after a friend leant me Scar Tissue, Anthony Keidis' (of Red Hot Chili Peppers acclaim) autobiography which I've been meaning to read for a while now. Just finished it 2 days ago. It was good, written in a very lucid style as if he were dictating the entirety of his life in between songs at one of his concerts. Sometimes it was a giant ramble, at others very introspective. More than anything, it was a broken record of drug abuse, sex, and struggle for sanity. I've always been intrigued by tortured souls. In many senses I can relate completely with elements of their existence, others I can't begin to comprehend. Especially when it comes to the degree to which their troubles take them. I can definitely identify with the beginnings of a downward spiral, but I always come to this point where its "OK, whatever is dragging me down I can overcome", and so far I've been able to. I want to take this moment to thank the powers at hand for not biologically condemning me to a life of drug abuse or any variation of compulsive obsession. Could be my upbringing, but I know I don't have it in me to completely detach myself from the people I love and waste away on drugs, alcohol, or whatever else. Just the right balance of selflessness and selfishness to allow me to have my own experience while always having that anchor keeping me safely aware. I guess that anchor is the love I have for others, and without which I wouldn't have for myself. A good read nonetheless, but I'm looking forward to getting back into Moby Dick.

Once we moved in, we did a little exploring. Turns out there is no need for us to venture any further than one square block of our apartment to fulfill any basic need. Laundry spot, gym, market, pizzeria, cafe, kiosk, and even Burger King are all steps away. Very convenient. Our favorite 2 bars (the ones that play American football) are just 10 minute walks away. The pizzeria is already a staple in my routine. I think I've eaten there 3 times in the past 5 days. They have a pineapple, ham, and cheese empanada that I cannot get enough of, and the pizza isn't too shabby either. The gym was less than $20 US for the month. Its not quite as intimate as our little gym room in the last building, but its nice to see fresh faces and the management couldn't be happier to let us sweat all over their equipment for a month. I'm excited to see what the next few weeks hold in this place, but I'm also excited to move on away from Buenos Aires in December.

No good reason

Take the time, read the lines. Listen to your heart. Discuss topics, fill your pockets. Break the mold. Beat the cold. Life is what you make it. It only matters what you think, not what anyone else does. Fight the power. Take the sweet with sour. Things are the way they are. It's just the way it is.

This world is a crazy and beautiful place. Some days, I want to retreat entirely and never put myself in a position to try and comprehend it ever again. Other days, I can't get enough of its contradictions and want to bask in the pure absurdity of it all. It's difficult not to think about yourself all of the time. Where you are, what you're doing, what you're life consists of. Its something we all have in common. It seems we, as a collective, spend most of our lives worrying about the big picture items, but it's our minor hap chance encounters, experiences, and enlightening moments that keep us reflecting and progressing as individuals. They are inconsistent in nature and nearly impossible to document from day to day, but they keep me going. Especially now, in this particular and peculiar point in my life, where the 'big picture items' are more or less on the back burner and my fish-out-of-water existence is making way for all kinds of these insignificantly significant occurrences.

One such occurrence, which I nor any of it's witnesses will not soon forget, is the phone exchange I just made with the doorman at our old building. He gave me what seems to be a 5 to 6 year old phone that turns on and off at its own will along with 100 pesos in exchange for my 3 year old (it has Cingular logos all over it, that was about 3 years ago right?) silver flip phone with camera. The dude first got a glimpse of the phone when I asked him to help me add credit for the first time. During that interaction, I unknowingly agreed I would give it to him when I left. He asked me frequently over the past month or so to see it and play with it, and each time I didn't have it on me (hint to how necessary it actually is). I also tried, on every possible occasion, to explain that I wasn't leaving the country and would require it well into the Summer. Nevertheless, he was persistent, and I was impartial. In the end, it definitely did not work to my benefit, and some of my friends can't conceive of why I would ever go through with such a thing. I don't need benefit. I don't know what I need. I don't know much. But I do know he'll have that phone until it no longer functions (similar to the one he gave me in exchange), I do know he's never seen a phone like it, I do know he will give it to his children, I do know he'll always remember the kid who gave him that phone, and I do know that I will remember that kid too. That kid who did things for no good reason.

Take the time to feed the lines. Listen to your art. Distrust topics. Empty your pockets. Eat the mold. Treat the cold. Life is in how you take it. It doesn't matter what you think, nor what anyone else does. Slight the hour. Take sweet as sour. Things are, and they are. It's just the way it is.

Lighter Load

Halloween was nothing short of ridiculous. Imagine 150 foreigners walking around in costumes in celebration of a holiday, which for all intents and purposes, doesn't exist here. We partook in a pub crawl throughout our neighborhood. We all worked with what we had to put together our costumes. Matt the basketball player, Alex the surfer, Sean the ninja, Brian the punk, Miles the cowboy, and me, the guy with his clothes on backwards and a bandage wrapped around his head. Can't quite tell you what I was going for, dude with a head injury? backwards man? (thanks Eli) Kris Kross? (thanks Brett), you tell me. It was Dave who had the most intriguing Halloween story. He managed to injure his foot on Thursday night in an alleged break-dancing fight at a local hip hop club. He threatened to forego Halloween altogether, so we did what any irresponsible friends would: acquired a set of crutches and a hooded cape for our fallen Jedi. I think its safe to say he enjoyed the night more than the rest of us.

A lighter load, figuratively and literally. I sent back more than half of my belongings with Dave to California on Sunday. Aside from Dave, we are on the verge of losing another member of the pack. So here I am with half the stuff, and a half of the crew. We spent the day cleaning and preparing the apartment for the walk through and handing back of the keys. Minimal damage, significant memories. Our new apartment is relatively close, just 8 or 9 stone throws away, half the size and price. Interesting to see what the next month has in store. I have grown accustomed to living here. Not necessarily the way I envisioned it, but eventually settings and routines become comfortable.

Comfort is not what I came looking for, which itself remains to be discovered. I am a little upset/pleased with myself over this one. As far as expectations go, I have too easily become complacent in the search for what I hope to gain from this experience, but on the flip side I'm allowing myself to just be myself and share a unique experience with close friends. For example, I have been more concerned with who my 7-1 Vikings are playing on any given Sunday than I have about pretty much everything else. I knew I would follow them closely as I always do, but they have rarely been this good in recent history and its impossible for me to ignore them when I have the opportunity to see every game. Great game yesterday by the way. They gave up a big lead in the 2nd half, but never failed to keep the game interesting. A win is a win. Really, what I'm trying to say is that it has been engrained in my existence to constantly be in pursuit of purpose, and the biggest challenge I've been presented with so far is attempting to ignore the urge. I have been enjoying myself thoroughly and frugally. Time is going to continue running on along with my mind. Something will come of everything, and the more I force it the more uncomfortable I will become in my own skin. I'm well experienced with this dilemma, and its proven to be time and time again unavoidable. Confidence in uncertainty. I'm just a going with the flowing, taking a vacation within a vacation.